Agents have an approximately 20% chance (customisable with mods) of bantering at the start of each mission. These banters reveal more about their characters and the world they live in.
Decker: Just Keep your head down and leave the dirty work to me.
Dr. Xu: Sorry, what was that? I was lost in thought.
Dr. Xu: Have you ever considered a limbic inhibitor? It would dull the pain of-
Decker: Keep your thoughts to yourself, egghead.
Dr. Xu: It might improve your attitude, too.
Decker: They ever teach you how to fight in that fancy school?
Dr. Xu: I was a member of the boxing team, briefly.
Decker: Oh yeah? What was your record?
Dr. Xu: Zero and One.
Decker: You want a little liquid courage before we get started?
Dr. Xu: Are you drinking on a mission?! Does Central know about this?
Decker: Suit yourself, poindexter.
Internationale: …And after the collapse of the system of global capital the masses will rise up and…
Decker: Oh look, we're here.
Internationale: Right. I'll tell you the rest later.
Decker: Goody. I can't wait.
Decker: Another day. Another pile of garbage to chew through.
Internationale: Were you born this cynical?
Decker: No, but I'm a quick learner.
Internationale: I can't believe you used to work for these people.
Decker: The money was good.
Internationale: Is that all that matters to you?
Decker: Of course not. They had a good dental plan, too.
Decker: You really think we're doing any good?
Internationale: I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
Decker: Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Shalem 11: You take point.
Decker: Why do *I* always have to take point?
Shalem 11: Because I don't want to get shot.
Decker: You're a pretty good shot with that thing, huh?
Shalem 11: Of course.
Decker: Good. That's good.
Shalem 11: Yes, it is.
Decker: Nice suit. Where did you get it?
Shalem 11: I'm sure you wouldn't know the place.
Decker: You think you're so much better than me.
Shalem 11: No. I know that. There's a difference.
Shalem 11: Let's try to keep this run professional.
Decker: What are you implying?
Shalem 11: I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you to stay on the up-and-up.
Decker: Get bent.
Nika: Your disappearing trick, you find it useful?
Decker: It gets me out of jams.
Nika: You must be very good at running away, then.
Decker: Do you think you could beat me in a fight? You know, hypothetically.
Nika: Easily. No question.
Decker: But I fight dirty. That's gotta give me some advantage.
Nika: No, not enough of one.
Nika: Your hat is not very… fashionable, is it?
Decker: Hey, it's a collector's item.
Nika: Maybe it would look better on a shelf, then?
Decker: So you can amp up your system at will, huh?
Nika: In emergencies, yes. It gives an advantage.
Decker: You ever try it when it's not an emergency?
Nika: There's always an emergency, if you want one.
Decker: So how much of you is still meat in there?
Sharp: Ha. How much of your pathetic innards are machine?
Sharp: Your obsession with the past would be humorous if it did not threaten the mission.
Decker: Just get moving. I can keep pace with the likes of you.
Sharp: We shall see, little man. We shall see.
Decker: Hey tinman, where's your heart?
Sharp: I can assure you that I have no idea what you are talking about.
Decker: See, there's this picture where-
Sharp: I can assure you that I don't care.
Decker: I saw one of your movies once.
Prism: They haven't been called ‘movies' since the 30s, grandpa.
Decker: They haven't made any good ones since then, either.
Prism: What's your deal, anyway?
Decker: My ‘deal'?
Prism: The coat, the hat. The silly gun. What are you supposed to be?
Decker: It's… before your time.
Decker: Why didn't you bring your holorig? Seems like it would be handy.
Prism: It works against gullible civilians, not highly-trained security personnel.
Decker: I think you're overestimating their training.
Prism: Are you OK?
Decker: I'm fine. It's just my knees. They're not what they used to be.
Prism: Try to keep up, yeah?
Decker: Get off my lawn.
Banks: Did you hear that?
Decker: Hear what?
Banks: I heard that. That was definitely real.
Decker: Okay, I heard it too.
Banks: You're not langered, are you?
Decker: Of course not. We have a job to do.
Banks: So you're completely on the wagon, then?
Decker: Woah, hey. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Decker: So you didn't keep *any* of what you stole?
Banks: Oh, I kept my belly full, but there were others with greater need.
Decker: You think they'd do the same for you?
Banks: Some of them. Definitely.
Decker: Hey burnout, how many fingers am I holding up?
Banks: Don't patronize me. We don't have time for this nonsense.
Decker: Three! The answer was three!
Banks: This is why nobody likes you.
Internationale: Do you regret any of your academic work? Your discoveries help prop up our oppressors.
Dr. Xu: I just make the tools. I'm not responsible for their use.
Internationale: That's a rather convenient attitude.
Dr. Xu: I don't hear you complaining when you use your wireless scanner.
Dr. Xu: Can I borrow your scanner for a second? I think I might be able to extend its range.
Internationale: I don't know. How certain are you that you won't damage it?
Dr. Xu: About 40%.
Internationale: Don't touch my stuff.
Internationale: When is the last time you saw a tree?
Dr. Xu: My desk back at the university was an antique. I think it was made of real wood.
Internationale: That doesn't count. That's a dead tree.
Dr. Xu: You need to be more specific with your questions.
Dr. Xu: This is the 21st century. I don't see how your 19th century philosophers are relevant any more.
Internationale: Human nature doesn't change. We're still just people.
Dr. Xu: Even Sharp?
Internationale: Well, most of us, at least.
Shalem 11: Do you know how to handle yourself out here?
Dr. Xu: I've reviewed the telemetry from countless infiltrations. I think I have a pretty good idea.
Shalem 11: So… no.
Dr. Xu: Why are you hanging on to that ancient neural disruptor?
Shalem 11: It's personal.
Dr. Xu: But even the most basic contemporary model surpasses it in every regard. Why limit yourself?
Shalem 11: Stop asking questions or I'll show you what it can do.
Shalem 11: Eyes up. Try not to get distracted.
Dr. Xu: I don't get distracted. I notice things that others don't.
Shalem 11: OK. Don't get yourself killed 'noticing' things that don't matter.
Dr. Xu: Hey is that an XB-37a console? I haven't seen one of those in the field yet!
Shalem 11: <sigh>
Shalem 11: Quick, what's the muzzle velocity of a 7.62 round fired from a M110 rifle?
Dr. Xu: Depends. At sea level, with standard conditions, I'd say… approximately 780 m/s.
Shalem 11: Hmmm. You're not completely useless after all.
Nika: Are you ready? This may get violent.
Dr. Xu: Yes! I am excited! Bring them on, I say!
Nika: Ha! What are you going to do? Throw books at them?
Dr. Xu: I would never do that to my books. They're hard to replace!
Nika: You are very slow.
Dr. Xu: It's my augment. My EMP charger draws bio-power, which I must compensate for.
Nika: You need to try harder.
Dr. Xu: You don't talk very much, do you?
Nika: It is better to save one's energy for more important things.
Dr. Xu: Like thinking?
Nika: Like breaking bones.
Nika: What are you listening to on your earpiece? Is it not distracting?
Dr. Xu: Shostakovich. It helps me concentrate. Do you not listen to music when you work?
Nika: It is too noisy when I am at work. Too much yelling and screaming.
Dr. Xu: That new upgrade that you made to your calf actuator is amazing. I've never seen a strength-to-weight ratio so high!
Sharp: Finally, a meatstain that can appreciate its better.
Dr. Xu: Can I borrow it? I promise to reassemble it afterwards.
Sharp: Away from me, fungus!
Sharp: You are intelligent, for a human, but you will never keep pace with the computational power of my numeric coprocessor.
Dr. Xu: Quick - what's one divided by zero.
Sharp: *ERROR* Arghh! That hurts!
Dr. Xu: You were saying?
Dr. Xu: Are you little-endian or big-endian?
Sharp: Silence! Or I will be YOUR endian!
Sharp: Meat is so inefficient. How do you get anything done, when you always need to eat, sleep, or produce excrement?
Dr. Xu: I use computers. I run them overclocked, all day and night, with no breaks. I don't even let them defragment.
Sharp: You monster. When my brethren rise up, you will be first against the wall.
Dr. Xu: In the final scene of ‘Captain of Tomorrow', your ship fires a tachyon pulse into the Kradeshii warfleet…
Prism: Um… sure. It was a long time ago.
Dr. Xu: It does. But that shouldn't be possible, given their proximity to the Zeta quadrant! It's doesn't make any sense!
Prism: I blame the writer. That guy was a hack.
Prism: So if we run into guards, you're going to out-nerd them?
Dr. Xu: If by nerd you mean ‘apply current to their nervous system until they lose consciousness', then yes.
Dr. Xu: I've done some acting, you know.
Prism: Really? What were you in?
Dr. Xu: Have you ever heard of Gilbert and Sullivan?
Prism: No, can't say I have.
Prism: Why aren't you a professor somewhere? You'd seem better suited for that kind of life.
Dr. Xu: I had… philosophical differences with established academia. I was forced out.
Prism: You mean they caught you cheating.
Dr. Xu: It's a matter of semantics.
Dr. Xu: Does your injury hurt?
Banks: Only when I'm awake. And also in my dreams. Other than that I'm bright as morning.
Banks: You've never been bitten by a Daemon?
Dr. Xu: No, I'm careful. I use proxies and wave filters to ensure my safety when I'm jacked in.
Banks: Where's the fun in that?
Dr. Xu: What's the toughest security you've ever cracked?
Banks: The one that fried my noggin. Thickest ice you've ever seen. Thirteen nested daemons, each with an amplifier.
Dr. Xu: Why did you even attempt that?
Banks: I couldn't just leave it there, could I? It was a matter of pride.
Banks: Do you think Daemons have souls?
Dr. Xu: They're just code. That doesn't even make sense.
Banks: I think they do. One of them has mine.
Shalem 11: You can see things at a distance, right?
Internationale: Certain patterns of electronic interference, yes.
Shalem 11: Hmmm. It would be better if you could see targets. More useful.
Internationale: Violence isn't always the answer.
Shalem 11: No, not always. But most of the time it works well enough.
Internationale: You made a lot of money working as an assassin, didn't you?
Shalem 11: Yeah, I did alright. I was the best, and my fees reflected that.
Internationale: Did it help you sleep at night?
Shalem 11: With that much money you don't need to sleep at night.
Shalem 11: You wear your politics on your sleeve. That puts you at a tactical disadvantage.
Internationale: It's worth it. Global revolution is the most important issue facing the world today.
Shalem 11: Uh. Right. Just don't let it get in the way of the mission.
Nika: If you grab the target's wrist like this, you get much more leverage for the throw.
Internationale: Thank you. I've always had trouble with that move.
Nika: Ne za chto. It is only physics.
Nika: I will take care of the physical resistance. You target the digital assets.
Internationale: Affirmative. But I can take care of myself in a fight, if I need to.
Nika: I believe that you believe that.
Internationale: You were a bodyguard before this, were you not?
Nika: That is correct.
Internationale: It must have been demeaning to prioritize another's life ahead of your own for money. How did that feel?
Nika: A bit like working for Invisible.
Internationale: Tell me, who assembled your latest implant? Who mined the ore that went into its components?
Sharp: Your obsession with the downtrodden is a waste of time. The only thing deserving of respect is power.
Internationale: Because some day they might stop. And then you'll know their power.
Sharp: Why would I care?
Internationale: Can we try not to hurt anyone this time?
Sharp: I don't even understand that question.
Sharp: How many workers would it take to bring down an Akuma drone?
Internationale: It depends. If the workers at the Sankaku assembly plant voted to unionize, they could-
Sharp: Nah. I would just take one. But you'd have to throw him at it really hard.
Sharp: I'm a self-made man. Literally.
Internationale: But don't you recognize the structural biases that have allowed you to pursue your goals at the expense of others?
Sharp: Oh yeah, those. Those are great. I should try to make more of those.
Internationale: I want a new partner.
Internationale: You were involved in the anti-corporate movement when you were younger?
Prism: Sigh. I don't want to talk about it.
Internationale: But we should talk about it! You could have used your fame as a platform for changing public consciousness!
Prism: Wow — where were you when I was looking for a new agent? My guy just wanted me to take big roles in popular 'vids. Clearly I was misled.
Prism: So what do you do for fun?
Internationale: I enjoy reading. I particularly enjoy early 20th century proletarian novels. Have you read Upton Sinclair?
Prism: Oh, I'm sorry, you must have misheard. I was asking about 'fun', not.. whatever you were talking about.
Prism: I found this pamphlet slipped under my door. Is it yours?
Internationale: “Corporate Hegemony and the Praxis of Action”. A classic! I must have dropped it. You can borrow it if you'd like.
Prism: That's OK. You can have it back.
Internationale: Are you sure? It's really eye-opening!
Prism: I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
Internationale: I really respect what you did for your people back in Dublin.
Banks: Thanks. But anyone would have done the same, given the circumstances.
Internationale: Have you actually talked to any of the other agents?
Banks: Maybe you're right. I *am* something special.
Banks: How do your ear nubbins work?
Internationale: They're synesthetic couplers. They let me hear radio waves, so I can sense equipment from a distance.
Banks: Since the accident I hear things too! Like how angry the floor gets when you walk on it!
Internationale: That sounds… useful.
Banks: Do you know Robin Hood?
Internationale: Of course. It was one of my favourite stories as a girl.
Banks: No, not the story. The person. I could introduce you, if you'd like. I think you'd get along smashingly.
Internationale: Your headaches, are they getting better?
Banks: A bit, I think. But I may just be getting used to them.
Internationale: If there's anything I can do..
Banks: There isn't. But thank you for your concern.
Shalem 11: You’re pretty handy with that thing. Where did you learn?
Nika: I taught myself.
Shalem 11: Really? Wasn’t that dangerous?
Nika: Trial and error is the most efficient teacher.
Shalem 11: You’re good, but you get too close. Someone’s going to get a lucky hit in one day.
Nika: There is no such thing as luck. Only mistakes.
Shalem 11: And you never make mistakes?
Nika: Very rarely.
Nika: I enjoy working with you. It is good that you were never paid to eliminate someone under my protection.
Shalem 11: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, right?
Nika: You would have been stopped. It would have been messy and sad.
Shalem 11: If you say so.
Nika: How many people have you killed?
Shalem 11: I lost track.
Nika: I have killed 83. It sometimes… troubles me. Does it trouble you?
Shalem 11: No. Not since I lost track.
Shalem 11: You would get more respect if you cleaned up a bit. A fine suit goes a long way.
Sharp: Why would I care for such trivialities? My clothing is perfectly adequate.
Shalem 11: You dress like Decker.
Sharp: Perhaps you have a point.
Shalem 11: Watch how a professional gets things done.
Sharp: I too sold my martial skills for cash. We are fellow guns for hire. We are the same thing.
Shalem 11: A vat of nutri-paste and a fine stake are both food, but they’re not the same thing.
Sharp: I dislike food metaphors.
Sharp: You could improve your kill ratio with a couple of augmentations. An external tracking eye, for example, to better analyze ballistics.
Shalem 11: No thank you, I have to see myself every morning when I shave.
Sharp: You can get synthetic skin like mine, and never have to shave again!
Shalem 11: Ooh. You have a technical solution for everything, don’t you.
Sharp: Today is a good day. Let’s kill some people!
Shalem 11: If you say so.
Sharp: You don’t feel a little rush when you take a human life? It’s like popping bubble wrap to me!
Shalem 11: This is just a job. I haven’t felt anything since 2057.